Ki Yachol Nuchal!

New olah; mom and wife. In small ways, every day, trying to rectify the error in judgement of my zaydies, the meraglim. "See these big grapes? We can make really big wine!"

Archive for the ‘Rav Shlomo Aviner’ Category

Posted by rutimizrachi on 29/03/2009

Yom rishon, 4 Nisan 5769.

Haveil Havalim, Issue #210, is available at Jack’s place.  Jack calls it the Locke, Hurley and Starbuck edition.  This means nothing to me.  However, the video clip from Night at the Opera is worth the whole issue.                                             


Remember that great story about the yid in the shtetl who complains to his rabbi that the house is too small and crowded?  “Bring in the cow,” advises the rabbi.  The man brings in the cow; and the house feels even more crowded.  He returns to the rabbi, who says, “Bring in the chickens.”  So the yid brings in the chickens, and the house feels even more crowded.  So he returns to the rabbi, who tells him to “bring in the goat and the watchdog and the rooster.”  The yid brings in all of these creatures; and needless to say, the house feels unbearably crowded and small.  This time when he returns to the rabbi, the rabbi tells him to shoo all of the animals out of the house.  “Ahhhhh!,” says the yid to his now-happy wife, “our rabbi is the wisest of men!  See how he helped us to increase the size of our home?  And the peace!”

The Dearly Beloved and I fell off the chair (only one chair — the apartment’s too small) laughing at the Marx Brothers’ overcrowding shtick.  (Warning: hilchot negiah alert.  Hysterical, nonetheless.)

I hope you’ll read through the various bloggers in the whole issue…  but at least give yourself a good, hearty laugh.

Happy Pesach cleaning!  Of course, consult with your own posek; but this article at Torat HaRav Aviner makes it a more pleasant process for me:  “How to do your Pesach Cleaning Cheerfully in Less than One Day.”

Yid:  Jew
Shtetl:  small European Jewish village
Hilchot negiah:  the laws detailing boundaries for physical contact between the sexes
Posek:  Advisor regarding Jewish law

Posted in Haveil Havalim, Marx Brothers, Pesach, Rav Shlomo Aviner | 3 Comments »

Rav Aviner’s Song for the Soldiers

Posted by rutimizrachi on 18/01/2009

23 Tevet 5769.

Rav Shlomo Aviner has a blog, called “Torat HaRav Aviner,” which gives me a lot of chizuk, especially in these challenging times.  He has written beautiful lyrics for which Eliyon Shemesh has created a joyful and powerful melody, which remind us of what Rav Goldberger has always taught us is true of the Jewish people:  V’ameich kulam tzadikim!  [And all of Your people are righteous!]

A Slow Line Enters Gaza:
A Song for Israeli Soldiers

(Many thanks to Rabbi Mordechai Friedfertig, as always, for his translation of Rav Aviner’s words.)

The unit commander is a factory owner.
The regimental commander is an engineer.
The company commander is a nature guide.
The platoon commander is in his mandatory army service.
The sergeant major sells holy books.
The sergeant is somewhat of a carpenter.
The squad leader is currently unemployed.
And the private is retired.

But all of them are excellent soldiers
Marching in the quiet of the night in a slow line
Entering enemy territory
Without fear
In order to wage war for our Nation
As their parents had done for them.

The unit commander has a bad back.
The regimental commander – high cholesterol.
The company commander – digestive problems.
The platoon commander just doesn’t look good.
The sergeant major – problems with his eyes.
The sergeant has trouble sleeping.
The squad leader is scratching.
And the private has corns on his foot.

But all of them are excellent soldiers
Who slip into the darkness in a slow line
Entering enemy territory
Forgetting that they are pampered and sensitive
Filled each day with drops, oils and pills
And they are suddenly healthy.
And these men who are afraid of shots and dentists
Are suddenly courageous
They are not afraid of anything
They do anything that needs to be done
Because what is needed is needed.
They don’t think about themselves
But about the national goal
Because it is enough of this mess
And we must now act to protect our Nation
And this is only the appetizer.

The unit commander is a leftist against the settlements.
The regimental commander is a settler for the settlements.
The company commander votes for the centrist party.
The platoon commander is a Religious-Zionist who is deciding between two parties.
The sergeant major is Ultra-Orthodox.
The sergeant is a socialist.
The squad leader votes for all the parties.
And the private has still not decided.

But all of them are excellent soldiers
Marching silently in the darkness of the night.
Under the smiling moon
With preparedness and strength
And the same people who do not agreed
About anyting in politics and religion
Have suddenly become brothers.
Brothers in arms and brothers in battle
Who sacrifice for each other with their heart and soul
Everyone suddenly agrees
That the best thing we have
Is our country and the army which defends us
And they are ready to completely strike the enemy
For once and all
So that we will be left in peace.

Posted in chayalim, Gaza War, Rav Shlomo Aviner | 4 Comments »